We like to think of the holiday season as merry and bright, but the busy season of giving, getting and preparing can lead to increased stress levels for families. Stress can impact the physical health and emotional well-being of everyone in the family, from the parents right down to the infant.
From wardrobe choices to dinner party behavior to saying a cheerful thank you to unwanted gifts, parents tend to place a lot of expectations on little ones during the holiday season. While some expectations are certainly reasonable, it can be a setup for failure when expectations are high and kids are pushed beyond their normal limits.
Bedtimes tend to be stretched amidst the celebrations. Naps are often forgotten. Healthy eating can be a challenge with frequent parties and festive treats on every table. When kids are off schedule and log fewer hours of sleep, they are likely to experience stress. That stress will manifest as cranky behavior, meltdowns and physical complaints.
It’s important to prepare kids during the holiday season. Expectations work better when described in advance and when created with age in mind.
Six tips for curbing holiday stress:
1. Prioritize sleep. Yes, there will be evening parties that bend the bedtime a bit. And that’s okay once in a while. But if you shave off even 15 minutes of sleep every night (or multiple nights per week) for a few weeks, your child can suffer from sleep deprivation. Parties and celebrations are a lot less fun when your kids are exhausted and cranky.
Sleep deprivation can lead to increased illness and emotional instability. Prioritize sleep for your little ones during the holiday season. If you know you have a late party coming up, plan to make up the missed sleep with plenty of downtime and an early bedtime the next day.
2. Focus on healthy eating. It’s no big secret that a balanced diet keeps kids healthy and energetic, but this can be hard to accomplish when every classroom, team and club has a holiday party full of sugary treats.
Plan ahead to avoid roadblocks to healthy eating. Start each day with a balanced breakfast (preparing the night before can ease a hurried morning), pack healthy choices for snacks (think fruit or proteins) and skip added sugars such as juice boxes and fruit leathers.
3. Factor in downtime. Kids get overwhelmed when they are always on the go. There’s no rule stating that you have to attend every party and/or holiday event in your area. Think about the personalities and emotional needs of your children before you reply yes to every invitation that comes your way.
Be sure to factor in plenty of downtime each week. Kids need time to rest and recharge their batteries. They also need plenty of time for unstructured play. Give them the gift of slowing down this holiday season and watch your family stress level decrease right before your very eyes.
4. Give advanced notice. 10 minutes before you leave the house (or in the car on the way to the party) is not the best time to review things like table manners, gratitude and appropriate party behavior.
Give your kids time to process the information. Tell them your expectations the day before the party, the morning of the party and as you prepare to leave for the party. Be specific with your expectations. Holiday parties can be exciting and over-stimulating. Young partygoers often run around and use loud voices. Let them know what you expect and role-play appropriate behaviors in advance.
5. Keep parties brief. This just in: Kids don’t always enjoy lengthy parties that are adult-centered. And running around unattended with a group of kids leads to over-stimulation, exhaustion and (sometimes) poor choices.
Keep parties brief. You know what your child can handle. If you want to set your child up for success, it’s best to keep large parties short and stay within a half-hour of the normal bedtime schedule.
6. Host a fancy dinner party… sort of. No matter how often you discuss table manners at home, the expectations at larger gatherings are often different than the daily expectations set at home. When you prepare kids for new expectations, they are more likely to be successful.
Role-play works well for practicing table manners. Whether you use play food or choose one night a week to set up a ‘fancy dinner party’ in your home, take the time to model and practice your revised expectations so that your kids know what’s coming.
Even when we don’t have any fancy events on the calendar, my kids love to throw fancy dinner nights in our house. They set the table, choose fancy outfits and help serve the meal. It’s a fun way to work on some very important skills!
Katie Hurley, LCSW, is a child and adolescent psychotherapist and freelance writer. Katie’s work can be found on several online parenting publications, including Everyday Family and The Huffington Post.
Calgary’s Child Magazine © 2024 Calgary’s Child
