I always believed that I thrived on the challenge of change. I’m a Gemini, and we love to mix it up. Constantly trying new things, we are die-hard multi-taskers and communicators. I chose a career that offered me plenty of creative challenges. Each week, I flew to a new city I hadn’t been to before. Laptop bag in hand, I’d push up to boardroom tables and participate in meetings with Fortune 500 business leaders in their industries. It couldn’t be any better - until a small lump changed everything.
After my diagnosis of breast cancer, I continued working during my treatments. If I stayed busy, there was less time to dwell on cancer. All the things I had taken for granted might not happen. A long happy marriage, becoming a mother, a successful career, and most of all, I was 33 and believed I had plenty of time. That big powerful word was not going to change everything in my life. I wanted to have some control so I chose my career. Everything else, I completely overhauled.
I changed my eating habits, renewed my exercise routine, slept more and strengthened my relationships. I did acupuncture, saw a naturopath, tried cranial sacral, fell back in love with Yoga and started attending church. Yet each day I happily submerged myself in work distractions. Realizing it wasn’t quite in alignment with all my other changes, I compromised. I moved companies and took my role down a level.
Yet month after month, the knot in my chest grew tighter.
I had started out doing less, but gradually it became a bigger team, thrilling projects and exciting product launches. There was always more. My husband listened to me complain and always offered the same words: “Why not quit?” The word “quit” was not an easy word for me to hear. How could I just stop working? I’ve had a job since I was 12. What would ‘everyone’ think? My internal and external critics were loud and proud. Plenty of women do this… why couldn’t I?
After a few months of considerable waffling, I finally got honest and admitted my career choice didn’t fit anymore. It wasn’t the company; it wasn’t the awesome people; it just wasn’t for me. I wanted a family and a life with minimal stress. So I took a huge breath and did it. I ended up working another two months to make the transition easier for the company. But I was out, officially a quitter. Did everyone support me in my decision? No, and some of the comments and judgments were hurtful.
It’s four years later, and I have no regret that in the mornings I rush to preschool instead of a meeting. Making big change isn’t easy. Often our minds and bodies like things to stay the same. The change we resist may hurt us more if we don’t embrace our inner voice telling us it’s time.
Here are some suggestions to help make it happen:
1. Core values. Knowing what’s important for you to live a meaningful life will shine a light on changes that need to happen. Is it family, health, creativity or loyalty? When living your life in alignment with core values, the right life choices naturally do as well. It’ll feel oh so right because you take action from a place of truth. And when that happens, life becomes much richer.
2. Energy drainers. Identify those behaviors that drain your energy. Negative patterns or bad habits are one of the biggest blocks that prevent us from making and sustaining change. You could name three right now. Find a way to stop them and watch space in your life immediately open up.
3. Commitment. Now in that new space, think of the last time you committed to something completely. You saw it through to the finish line. It was fed with endless endurance, patience and resilience to make it happen. Those are the behaviors for big change. A commitment is ongoing, not static. It’s good to have an eye on the end result, but know in your heart the joy is in the journey.
4. Courage. Stand up and say you’re doing it. Because your word is golden. It makes it real and holds you to it. If change was easy, we’d all be good at it. Unfortunately, we’ve been conditioned over time to keep things the same. Less risk means less chance we’ll get hurt. True change can’t happen unless we explore, speak up, learn or take risks.
5. Support. You’ve spoken up, well done! Now it’s time to rally your biggest fans like family, friends, mentors or experts. They love you and want you to succeed, so let them help you. And if they don’t know how, tell them. But don’t forget about some self-support. Find time for yourself to nurture your change. Be kind and forgiving when the challenges and the dips come. Don’t give up - refuel and push on. You can do this!
After listening to her heart, Christine completed the CTI Life Coach Program at the U of C and became a life coach. She loves to help others be more and create real change in their lives. For more information, visit www.christinefrancoeur.com
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